it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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