If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
