You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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