IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
