I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
