i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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