She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
