I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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