real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I can't trust your balls anymore.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
