So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
