I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
