So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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