Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
