so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
