just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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