Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize