wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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