i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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