i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
