Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
