I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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