Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
