craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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