is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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