no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
