so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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