where does the pee come out of this thing
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
