My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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