so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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