Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
