who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So apparently I’m into choking now
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
