just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
