You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
