my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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