Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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