oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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