Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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