we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
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