My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
