maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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