I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
