I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
