love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
