He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This is the high leading the old right now
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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