this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
