Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
