I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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