I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
