Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
