I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
