I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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